An allegedly true story from the Futuremark forums. Let this be a lesson to all the wanna-be thieves — choose your marks carefully.
If you enjoy this story, also try A Cybersex Encounter.
Greg_ValveOLS: good evening
br0kenrabbit: What’s ip?
Greg_ValveOLS: my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team
br0kenrabbit: On MSN?
Greg_ValveOLS: we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information
br0kenrabbit: My information?
Greg_ValveOLS: we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?
br0kenrabbit: No. I don’t even have it written down.
Greg_ValveOLS: hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?
Greg_ValveOLS: if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know.
Greg_ValveOLS: dont worry this connect it secure
br0kenrabbit: Can I be honest with you, Greg?
br0kenrabbit: Look, I don’t know how you go this MSN account name, don’t really care, either.
br0kenrabbit: Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you’ll see.
br0kenrabbit: Trace it.
br0kenrabbit: Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.
Greg_ValveOLS: oh k
br0kenrabbit: As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.
br0kenrabbit: I’m putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.
br0kenrabbit: Have you read the ToS?
br0kenrabbit: terms of service
br0kenrabbit: Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.
br0kenrabbit: I just told you why
br0kenrabbit: I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I’m going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?
br0kenrabbit: First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.
Greg_ValveOLS: xxxxx xxxxxxx
br0kenrabbit: Is this you?
br0kenrabbit: Are you the only user of this account?
br0kenrabbit: Okay, and what is the username
br0kenrabbit: I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you.
Greg_ValveOLS: some. dude
br0kenrabbit: Do you always log on from the same IP?
br0kenrabbit: And who is your internet providers, your ISP?
br0kenrabbit: Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.
Greg_ValveOLS: am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?
br0kenrabbit: What is your city of residence?
br0kenrabbit: That depends on if you cooperate. You’re doing fine so far.
br0kenrabbit: Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?
br0kenrabbit: Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.
br0kenrabbit: So I can update your account.
Greg_ValveOLS: can I play 2 nite
Greg_ValveOLS: clan fight
Greg_ValveOLS: wont win without me heh
br0kenrabbit: Heh. You’ll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?
br0kenrabbit: Okay. Give me just a moment.
br0kenrabbit: Try to log in now.
Greg_ValveOLS: It says login failed wtf wtf!@?
Greg_ValveOLS: did u ban me???????????>WHY
br0kenrabbit: Valve will never ask for your username and password.
br0kenrabbit: I don’t work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.
Greg_ValveOLS: omg dude wtf why?
br0kenrabbit: Why were you trying to steal my account?
Greg_ValveOLS: i wanst
br0kenrabbit: Then why were you asking for my information?
Greg_ValveOLS: i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i’m only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it
Greg_ValveOLS: dude pleas
br0kenrabbit: Go mow some yards, bitch.